Artwork available for purchase here.
So, as many of you know I’ve been a little down in the dumps lately. You’ve seen the facebook posts and I guess I am an open book (What? FB isn’t for airing your constantly changing emotions!?) Mostly it’s been about my social life, or lack thereof. It has a little to do with the weather as well but that is a whole other story.
So, really it is just incredibly hard to meet people here not to mention meet people in the same demographic with similar interests and then to be able to find the time to get together socially when you do meet someone promising. I never had to “date” much but I guess this would be the closest thing to that. My acupucturists would say that my pericardium is sure getting a workout and boy are they right. (The pericardium is a double-walled sac that contains the heart, therefore “protecting” it from harm. Mine has been deflecting its’ fair share of disappointment and rejection lately. It doesn’t feel nice.)
I’ve been here for over a year now and while I’ve struggled with this issue before I think it really hit home after my return from Boston last month. It was so strange to go back there; it felt like I was going “home” in a strange way. I don’t really have that feeling anywhere else. Nostalgia maybe for Wyoming, South Dakota, Flagstaff, and Tucson but not feelings of being home. The city was abuzz with young people everywhere and most importantly I was surrounded by my dear, dear friends again. It was hard to leave.
I have amazing friends and family. I talk to my mom and best friend Alison most everyday. I keep in touch with my Boston friends via email and long distance calls. I have extended family members that email to cheer me up. My sister and I commiserate via skype on what the challenges of living in a different country (might as well be for me!). All of this is so great and I don’t know what state of mind I would be in without it but I don’t think anything can compare to benefits of a physical relationship. Two people, sitting down, face-to-face to talk and enjoy each other’s company. I need this. I think all women in general really need this. If I could just get an hour of girltime over a cup of coffee every week I think I’d feel a little more sane!
So, feeling especially down the other day I googled, “how to make friends” and lo and behold I found some promising leads and interesting articles. Not that they had anything particularly enlightening to say but it made me just feel not so alone in the world. That there were other “normal” girls out there facing the same problems I was facing. Take writer Rachel, author of the blog (and soon to be published book) MWF seeks BFF who, like me, moved from NY to Chicago, leaving behind close friends and struggling to make new ones in her new town. She wrote this great article about the increased challenges of finding friends as an adult. Like I said, all of this info wasn’t necessarily anything new but it was just nice to know I wasn’t alone. It felt so great to know that someone else was in the same boat that I just had to write her an email and thank her. I wasn’t expecting a response but she actually wrote me back within two days! WOW! This girl could definitely be someone’s best friend!
If anyone has ideas, tips, or tools for meeting people I’m all ears! I’m sure you’ve all faced these or similar challenges in the past. But for now, that is what is going on. I’m sure I’ll have some more social gripes soon!
Oh Mel, how I miss you, too! This is the fear that most people have when moving to a new place. I know I do. And though I’m not on Nantucket to stay, I miss you all dearly, too, and can relate just a little. Just remember when you first moved to Boston…it took a little time to cultivate friendships. I know Alaskan gals will (and already do) seek your energy and fabulousness. You’re doing all the right work, too. Let’s chat soon, soon.
Love from us three on the faraway island…xoxo